Be Happy

I used to miss home. No make that, I used to really, desperately, miss home. I actually miss everything that I used to hate about the Philippines: getting stuck in EDSA’s traffic, the pollution, the noise. I miss going out at late at night and not worrying about how I’ll go home. I miss inane Pinoy movies. Heck, I actually miss watching Wowowee and Eat Bulaga!

I used to miss flirting with the Summit boys. I miss waking up in the morning and eating tapsilog. I miss my bedroom and my old, comfortable bed. I miss my books. I miss shopping like there’s no tomorrow.

I used to miss the rain. Joan’s right: there’s nothing like the Philippines’s rain. The way it pours: it’s straight out of the movies, as if the sky is mourning for a lost child. It was sweltering during the first two weeks I was here. Not a single drop of water was in sight.

I used to smile only if I think of Manila, and of my friends. My friends are the best. They know I’m not all sugar and spice. They know that I have one heck of a temper, that I can be your worst enemy, that I can be disagreeable, moody, and stubborn. But they’re still friends with me. They’re amazing people. I’m really lucky to have them.

I used to desperately, hopelessly, miss home. I...used...to. I have decided to stop. I snapped out of it when I told my friend about how homesick I was. His answer was this: “Don’t. Be happy wherever you are.”

Be happy. I used to think that happiness is tied to your environment. That it’s felt only when everything is perfect and complete: family, friends, a great job. But happiness, like what a former boss once told me, is also a decision. You can choose to be miserable. Or you can take the easier road and be content.

I still miss home. Yet this is not the desperate, hopeless degree of missing. I still miss the Summit boys. They’re still the hottest men I’ve ever met. I still miss my friends—nobody will know me as much as those guys do. I still miss tapsilog. But Argentina corned beef will do. I still miss my books and my bed. My readings will have to do-- for now. I still miss shopping in Galleria. Jurong Point is not a bad alternative.

I’m missing but doing better. In fact, I walked into tonight’s class smiling, prompting a classmate to say, “Rachel, you seem so happy today.” And I wasn’t thinking of home. I was smiling because of just some joke I heard.

I also think the rain helped. After two weeks, it finally rained. Not the melodramatic kind I’m used to, but it’s still what I have long been waiting for.