2010 List

I was supposed to post something about one of the best people I've met and whom I struck up a strange sorta friendship this year. I thought though that it deserves to be edited first--there were some things I wrote that may raise quite a lot of eyebrows.

Instead, I'm doing my own version of my friend Roan's annual list. Here's mine. You can check hers here.

  

What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
- study in a foreign country, e-mail a teacher random and crazy things :)

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
- I didn't have resolutions for 2009. But I have a couple of goals for 2010.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
- None. We're a bunch of spinsters.

Did anyone close to you die?
- None, thank goodness.

What countries did you visit?
-Singapore, lah! :)

What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
-a major comeback in the magazine industry. I'm missing my passion.


 What was your biggest achievement of the year?
-Would you believe, the A- I got in censorship class? :) And impressing one of the profs with my writing.

What was your biggest failure?
-My mediocre grades in all of the rest of the modules.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
-Nothing big, just when I wounded my foot 11 hours before my first exam.

What was the best thing you bought?
-My laptop!

Whose behavior merited celebration?
-Everyone who helped after Ondoy--ditto!

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
-Politicians. Those responsible for the Maguindanao massacre-- ditto!

Where did most of your money go?
-I didn't spend as much as I used to. There's something about being unemployed that stops me!

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
-My Manila Christmas vacay.


What song(s) will always remind you of 2009?
- Don't Stop Believing.

Compared to this time last year, are you:

i.happier or sadder? -- sadder, sadly. hahaha!
ii. thinner or fatter? -- Fatter!
iii. richer or poorer? -- richer. ahahaha!

What do you wish you'd done more?
-exercise. spend more time with Singapore-based friends. read more fiction.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
-eating and studying.

How many one-night stands?
- none! :)

What was your favorite TV program?
-Glee, Project Runway Philippines, How I Met Your Mother, True Blood

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
-I dislike. I rarely hate.

What was the best book you read?
- Harry Potter. First time I read it was this year!

What did you want and get?
- To study abroad.

What was your favorite film of this year?
- The September Issue and Avatar. I now love Sam Worthington!

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
-28. I was stuck at home while Manila was recovering from Ondoy.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
-If I spent it seeing more of the Lion City instead of studying.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
-Jeans and sneakers. It will change in 2010.

What kept you sane?
-Music, writing, books, and writing. Always will.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
-Sam Worthington!

What political issue stirred you the most?
-the Ondoy related deaths, and how we could have prevented them.

Who did you miss?
-My Flip friends.

Who was the best new person you met?
-A lot. My classmates. There's one person I liked the most, but I'd rather not say who it was. My profs too.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
- Whatever happens, I'll be fine.

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
-There were two! 

"You don't have a boyfriend? That's strange. You're an atractive girl"--Nasrath. Ahahahaha! I'm such a sucker for that!
"You're an outstanding writer." Dr. Reimold

The most touching experience you've had this year?
-When Jeni helped me with my injured foot, and when one of the profs told me I'm one of his favorite writers.

What did you like most about yourself this year?
- That I did my best.

What did you hate most about yourself this year?
-I didn't exercise as much as I need. Now I have to lose 10 pounds!

Was 2009 a good year for you?
- Just okay.

What was your favorite moment of the year?
- Partying with the YES! peeps. I should have partied more when we were still together!

What was your least favorite moment of the year?
-the day I got my grades.

Where were you when 2009 began?
- Eating, lighting up and watching fireworks

Who were you with?
-family

Where will you be when 2009 ends?
-at home

Who will you be with when 2009 ends?
-family

Do you have a new years resolution for 2010?
- I have a bunch of goals.

What was your favorite month of 2009?
-December

Did you lose anybody close to you in 2009?
-none, thank goodness.

How many concerts did you see in 2009?
- None, dammit. Will make up for it this year.

Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2009?
- Yeah. But nothing that made me roaring drunk.

Did a lot of drugs in 2009?
- none

You do anything you are ashamed of this year?
-None. Flirting with those guys was fun, fun, fun!

How much money did you spend in 2009?
- Just enough.

What was your proudest moment of 2009?
- Being told that I was a damn good writer. The insecurities are still there, but at least I'm feeling better.

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
- none.

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be?
- None. What's done is done.

What are your plans for 2010?
- Exercise more, see more of my Flip friends in Singapore, strike up a deep friendship with somebody in school, read more fiction. live a more balanced life.

How are you different now that the year has ended?
- More realistic now.

What are your wishes for the new year?
- A great job, to lose the 10 pounds I recently gained, dress better, and, flirt with more boys. Ahahahahaha!

Merry Christmas!

These are the people worth spending Christmas with, and I'm glad I have them.

The famille

My dad Rene, younger brother Rowell, our youngest brother Rem, me, younger brother Den, and my mom Remy

The sane friends, who act like my parents and look after me even if I don't want or need it.

Me, Jaycee baby, NUS postgrad student Loit, and her boyfriend, Pong

and the irreverent, party-loving former colleagues and friends, who make me want to go back to my previous workplace, no matter how impractical and insane the idea is.

Us at our normal best: mother Analyn, good girl Roan, me, flirtatious Arvee, bride-to-be Candice, the venerable poet Pete L., and my former supervisor, the very sober Anna. 

Us, partying like rock stars: new associate editor Jerome, Arvee, me, poor, getting almost suffocated Tim, Candice, and Tondo girl Neri. The hidden one making the peace sign is the tipsy Analyn. 

These are the people worth going home to the Third World, in spite of the pollution, incompetent politicians, horrendous traffic, bitchy saleswomen, and sleazy men who think they're God's gift to women. They're the people who make my Christmas really merry.

God bless, and have a great Christmas!

  

Happy Anniversary!

Love and marriage, love and marriage/Go together like a horse and carriage!

Today marks the 29^th wedding anniversary of my mom and dad.

These guys don’t really celebrate anniversaries. It’s no big deal, especially for Dad. I was bugging them a couple of years back if, instead of waiting for the 50^th anniv, they can get remarried during their 25^th. Getting re-married during the 50^th anniversary is a Filipino tradition many couples do. Mom was amendable to the idea, but Dad was totally against it. He actually said he will not show up at the city cathedral, and Mom can get married all by herself.  :)

I would like to say that they rarely argue, but I noticed that they now do. When I was a kid, they rarely bicker, and I stated this fact once in my misfit-infested high school class, where a certain loser told me that I was being dishonest by saying that. But that was true. They were too busy working, and I think we, their four rambunctious, moody, talented, and lovable kids, were too much of a distraction. When we started flying out of the coop, though, and we would just visit them during the weekends, that’s when I noticed that they would argue more often. I guess that now that they're in their 50s, Mom and Dad finally realized that they’re married to each other. :)

In spite of this, this marriage is pretty good. I have friends with supremely jealous and needy husbands who constantly check on their wife’s whereabouts, which Dad never did. Mom and Dad leave each other to do whatever they want: Dad, to hang out with his friends and watch basketball the whole day, and Mom, to tend to the unending needs of her nephews, nieces, and siblings.

I also have a friend with a martyr-like mom, who always bowed to her macho husband’s bidding. This was never the dynamic in our household. Like many Pinoy families, Mom is the queen of the household, and Dad her pawn. Hahahaha!

Happy anniversary, guys! Here’s to the 30^th. I hope we can have a Filipiniana-inspired wedding by then. 

Warmth and appreciation, one word at a time

After weeks of thinking of what to give to my professors, I’m finally done with my shopping. I bought a couple of stuff in Singapore, and the rest here in Manila.

Several days ago, I suddenly thought that the gifts were a little too impersonal. I wanted to do something that would really show my appreciation, and tell these professors how much I’ve learned from them. So after attending a press conference, I went to the bookstore and bought these Christmas cards.

One more card and I'm done. 

As a child, I spent my allowance buying numerous Christmas cards for classmates, teachers, and friends. I’d just write “Dear ____, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Sincerely, Rachel.” That was it. Back then, I didn’t know how to write well, and I was never the type who would say something sensitive or emotional. Showing my appreciation to people was simply too corny for me, an angst-ridden kid who grew up during the grunge era.   

Recently, however, I’ve been finding myself writing a lot of sensitive stuff here in my blog. I wrote about my mentor and a couple of friends. There’s really something special about this Christmas season that has made me appreciate people more, and it has made me more willing to say it to them. Maybe because I now spend part of my time living abroad, or maybe because I’m just getting older.

Last night, I wrote in these cards to tell these people how thankful I am for everything I’ve learned from them. I know I’m now a pretty good writer, and that I can express myself more eloquently in writing. I stutter when I speak, and I say some things which, while my intentions may be pure, end up being misinterpreted instead. I learned this the hard way last semester. One day I’ll write about it. But not today. 

I need another one more card though. One card was supposed to be meant for a professor who praised my writing to high heavens, but during the process of writing on the card, I found myself writing to a female professor instead, thanking her for her infinite patience when we acted like fools in class. I’ll buy that card for him soon. I just wish I can think of something more to write, something beyond the “Thanks for being supportive of my writing” line. He made the first semester a little more enjoyable. I think he deserves a little more ass-kissing from me.

Be Happy

I used to miss home. No make that, I used to really, desperately, miss home. I actually miss everything that I used to hate about the Philippines: getting stuck in EDSA’s traffic, the pollution, the noise. I miss going out at late at night and not worrying about how I’ll go home. I miss inane Pinoy movies. Heck, I actually miss watching Wowowee and Eat Bulaga!

I used to miss flirting with the Summit boys. I miss waking up in the morning and eating tapsilog. I miss my bedroom and my old, comfortable bed. I miss my books. I miss shopping like there’s no tomorrow.

I used to miss the rain. Joan’s right: there’s nothing like the Philippines’s rain. The way it pours: it’s straight out of the movies, as if the sky is mourning for a lost child. It was sweltering during the first two weeks I was here. Not a single drop of water was in sight.

I used to smile only if I think of Manila, and of my friends. My friends are the best. They know I’m not all sugar and spice. They know that I have one heck of a temper, that I can be your worst enemy, that I can be disagreeable, moody, and stubborn. But they’re still friends with me. They’re amazing people. I’m really lucky to have them.

I used to desperately, hopelessly, miss home. I...used...to. I have decided to stop. I snapped out of it when I told my friend about how homesick I was. His answer was this: “Don’t. Be happy wherever you are.”

Be happy. I used to think that happiness is tied to your environment. That it’s felt only when everything is perfect and complete: family, friends, a great job. But happiness, like what a former boss once told me, is also a decision. You can choose to be miserable. Or you can take the easier road and be content.

I still miss home. Yet this is not the desperate, hopeless degree of missing. I still miss the Summit boys. They’re still the hottest men I’ve ever met. I still miss my friends—nobody will know me as much as those guys do. I still miss tapsilog. But Argentina corned beef will do. I still miss my books and my bed. My readings will have to do-- for now. I still miss shopping in Galleria. Jurong Point is not a bad alternative.

I’m missing but doing better. In fact, I walked into tonight’s class smiling, prompting a classmate to say, “Rachel, you seem so happy today.” And I wasn’t thinking of home. I was smiling because of just some joke I heard.

I also think the rain helped. After two weeks, it finally rained. Not the melodramatic kind I’m used to, but it’s still what I have long been waiting for.

Cory

I always begin my mornings here by checking the Internet. We don't have a TV here in the apartment, and it's only through the Net that I have contact with the outside world.

I learned about the death of former president Corazon Aquino in an article posted at Yahoo Singapore. It wasn't surprising. I'm very much a realist. It was just a question of when. I just wish I were in Manila. Hearing the news overseas doesn't equal the impact of being in the place where a historical event is happening. I guess that's me thinking as a journalist.

Cory Aquino's 6-year term was not without flaws. But one thing is true: this is the only woman president we respect.



For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV

Tales from NTU

I'm baaack!

Hindi muna ako magsusulat in English. Nami-miss ko ng mag-Tagalog e. Nong binigyan nga ako ng saging ng roomate ko, nasabihan ko ba naman ng, "Sige!" with matching pa-tweetums facial expression. Nakalimutan ko, nasa SG pala ako. Two days na ako dito sa Singapore pero sawa na ako mag English.

Ang dami ko ngang nami-miss e: 'yong astig kong kumot, unan, kwarto sa Antipolo na laging nililinis ng mga maid namin; yong TV sa sala; ang manood ng CNN, The View, at The Buzz kung kelan ko gusto; ang kumain ng masarap at libre na luto ng maid namin; ang maid namin; ang ingay ng mga kapitbahay namin; yong mga taga-Summit at ang mga walang pinapatunguhan naming mga kwentuhan; yong mga damit na binili ko pa naman sa pagpunta dito pero hindi ko naman napagkasya sa bag. Dami.

Registration kanina, and for the first time, na-appreciate ko kulay ng passport ng Pinas. Well, yong dati. Green. Kasi siya lang yong green passport amidst the sea of red (China) and dark blue (India) passport na nagkalat sa auditorium. Wala akong nakitang ibang green. Sa akin lang. Kaya naman bago pa magpilipit ang dila ng Student Buddy sa pagtawag ng name ko, tumayo na ako and told her in my flawless American accent, "I'm Rachel." Chos!

May napansin lang ako don sa mga Indians. Di ba ang Pinoy, usually tuwang tuwa yan pag may nakitang kapwa Pinoy abroad? Yong matapobre hindi daw. Ako natutuwa ako, lalo na pag within campus (konti lang ata Pinoy dito). Pero yong mga Pana hindi sila nagpapansinan. E ang dami dami nila dito. Wala lang, I just find it strange.

Karamihan ng students dito either Chinese or Indian. Narealize ko, ang dami na ding mayaman sa kanila no? E ang Pinoy nakakarating lang dito pag libre.

Kanina nagchi-chichikahan kami ng roommate ko na Indian about the place we're from. And she told me that Mumbai is the best place to stay in because it's cosmopolitan. And she said that people there aren't very conservative. She asked me, "How is it living in the Philippines?" I said, "It's not as clean as Singapore. We're not as disciplined as the Singaporeans [read: pasaway kami, day!] But it's fun to live there." Later on, I said, "We're pretty conservative. If you were something like this [pointing to my signature cleavage top] you'll get a lot of cat calls."

And she said: "I thought it was fun to live there?"

Ah. What a complex topic, my country. It has its double standards, its corrupt politicians, its polluted streets, and its people who whine about their lives and blame the government for it but refuse to lift a finger to do anything about it. But it is the only place I know where I can be most comfortable, where I can speak a language that expresses my real soul and emotions, where laughter is a national sport, sex videos are for general consumption, where I can lead a life of comfort, and be around the people I love. And for most of us, that's what it is: Manila is love.

An idiot once asked, "What is there to love about Manila? About the Philippines?" Well, we do not love for any specific reason. Because that's what love is. You cannot rationalize it. It's just there.

Kaya pag may country-basher akong nakaka-usap (and most Pinoys are) I want to tell them: "You're just wasting your time. E, di umalis ka dito! Away with the nega vibes!" But I just do what a friend told me: Shut up and drive na lang ako!