Argh!

The past couple of nights, I’ve been sleepless, no thanks to my former colleague and friend C. She’s been on line night after night, pointing out how I have mishandled recent events which should have turned out really well.


The thing is, I thought I was doing the right thing. Ganyan naman lagi, e. Maayos intentions mo, pero ending, mali. Palpak! Bwahaha! Dyan ako magaling! Bwahaha!

What I kept telling C was that these things happened because they—my friends--weren’t around to guide me. They would have known how best to deal with it. They’re younger than me, by one or two years, but by life experience, they’re a decade older. I have nobody here to ask about the situation. Sure, I have M, but the perspective of the whole gang would have helped.

Next time, C, I’m gonna play the cards right. I promise. But I really can’t do everything you want me to, because you're right, I am a coward. I can't put myself out there as much as I should. In spite of my protestations, I like things easy, comfortable, predictable. Anything other than that sets my world out of axis. At hindi ako si you-know-who! Wala akong confidence nya, no!

I’ve completely messed things up. The only thing I can do now is to learn from this, ok? Now get off my case and stop making me feel like hell. :)

I'll see you on-line. And in spite of my misery, I know I'm won't be able to stop myself from mentioning the dreaded topic. This is all about me, and you can do nothing about it. Hahaha! At tigilan mo na yang efforts mo na pagselosin ako. Sasabunutan kita pag-uwi ko!

O, here's Rhett Miller. Para sa mga talunan. Hahahaha! But you know, you're quite sharp. You noticed something that we never did. I wish you didn't, because the what if's will never stop hounding me. But who knows, right? Who knows.

As my lunch buddy DJ said, "Malay mo, sa tatlong taon...." Hahaha! Batang to. Isa pang paasa! :)